


reconsider my foolish notions

by Trotter



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Coming of Age, Friends to Lovers, M/M, pre-debut shenanigans, soonyoung is just a giant ball of stress in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-19 15:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14240319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trotter/pseuds/Trotter
Summary: Seokmin's aegyo is going to send Soonyoung to an early grave.





	reconsider my foolish notions

Seokmin mumbles something when Soonyoung returns, so soft that Soonyoung thinks he’s singing again in his sleep. Pulling on his sleep clothes, he reminds himself to tease Seokmin for it later, when Seokmin repeats,

“How’d it go, hyung?”

Okay. So not sleep-singing then.

Soonyoung finds him by the glow of his phone and his heart leaps. Lately, Soonyoung has found himself weak for Seokmin’s aegyo; not the over-the-top antics he did for laughs (though he did do a _buing buing_ at Jeonghan the other day that gave Soonyoung heart palpitations) but the unconscious stuff, like when he’s pouting or laughing with his hands over his mouth or shifting closer to Soonyoung for reassurance.

But the Seokmin peering at him over his blanket, all sleepy-eyes and messy curly hair, is a veritable aegyo _monster._ An explosion of cuteness. He isn’t even _doing anything._ Was this what being a hyung was like? Feeling like your chest is going to burst at any moment?

Soonyoung wastes no time diving into bed. “I told you not to stay up, Seoku,” he says, ghosting his fingers over Seokmin’s ribs and squirming away when Seokmin tickles him back. “Yah,” he says, tangling their flailing legs. “We don’t have time to be idiots. Practice is at six.”

“Performance team leader,” Seokmin teases. It falls over them like a benediction, and Soonyoung shivers. “Performance team leader Hoshi.”

“Don’t,” Soonyoung says. “Nothing’s confirmed yet. Cheol-hyung said they’ll offer it to someone else if I say no.”

“But you won’t, right?” Seokmin says, pushing. “You can’t. All of us know that you’re _meant_ to be the leader of performance team, you’re always—”

“Sh,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin subsides. From the light coming in through the window, Soonyoung catches the blush darkening his skin and thinks, _how the hell is he this cute._ “Use your inside voice, Seokminnie. And you’re right,” he adds, snuggling closer. “I’m not going to say no.”

“I’m so glad,” Seokmin says on a yawn, and Soonyoung decides that it’s Seokmin’s open hearted honesty was the cutest of all. “Your parents will be happy too, so many—so many—”

Soonyoung snorts and kisses Seokmin’s forehead. “Go to sleep, worm. Did you set an alarm?”

“Mingyu’s will wake us,” Seokmin says, accurately. His eyes slip shut again before he forces them open. “Ah, but Soonyoungie, you didn’t tell me how your date went!”

Soonyoung freezes.

“Tomorrow,” he promises with his fingers crossed behind his back. “I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

 

 In their group, instead of interventions, they have Yoon Jeonghan.

“Seokminnie tells me you snuck out for another date again,” he says, and Soonyoung spends a full two seconds being indignant about being ratted out before he deflates. _Of course_ Seokmin must have mentioned it, because he has no filter around Jeonghan, and _of course_ Jeonghan was smart enough to figure out that this wasn’t the first time it happened. Sometimes Soonyoung really hates the vocal unit.

Soonyoung gazes at him levelly. He likes Jeonghan; despite joining so late in the game, Jeonghan knows how things work, and all his suggestions at their team meetings are sensible and smart. The downside of having him around is that these motherly checkups of his always leave Soonyoung wrong-footed and feeling like he’d fucked up somehow.

“He’s right,” Soonyoung admits, and notes how Jeonghan’s posture subtly relaxes. “Trying to get out as much as I can before we debut and it’s out of the question, you know. And it’s supposed to be good for dance inspiration and all that. What about you, hyung? Been anywhere nice lately?”

Jeonghan shakes his head with a meaningless smile. “We don’t all have the charm that you do, Soonyoung-ah.”

That’s his cue to say _eyy, what are you talking about, you’re the prettiest of us all,_ but Jeonghan’s hard to sidetrack when he’s like this. Soonyoung rolls his shoulders under the tension and grimaces. At least it’s not Seungcheol.

“Look, I don’t know what you think is going on, but you’re probably wrong, hyung,” he says. “I go out and have fun on dates, and I make sure no one recognizes me or takes pictures, and I don’t let it affect my training. All of that’s going to be a lot harder when we debut, so I’m just making the most of the time we have.”

Jeonghan gives him a searching look. “And it’s not because you’re running away from something?”

The question comes from so far out of the left field that Sooyoung can only gape for a few seconds. “Running—why would you think that? Running from _what?”_

Jeonghan sighs. “Stupidity is only cute on our Seokminnie.” He pats Soonyoung’s head as he walks out of the room, leaving him dumbfounded. “Though at this point I’m not sure if you’re dumb or blind. Figure it out soon, okay? Hyung is sick of watching you two.”

 

It turns out Seokmin is incredibly used to Jeonghan’s cryptisms.

“He’s been hinting like crazy around me as well,” he says as he helps Soonyoung exercise. His nose scrunches every time Soonyoung pecks him on his way up from his crunches; _cute_ doesn’t even cover it. “I think it frustrates him that we’re not as smart as he is.”

Practice isn’t exactly _over;_ the two main vocals had been given an assignment to complete a choreo, and Soonyoung’s been stuck on his own project for ages. He’s not calling it a block, not yet, not when he hasn’t run completely out of ideas, but usually at this point his head would be overspilling moves he could use. The title of _performance team leader_ seemed to carry an invisible weight. He needed a distraction or he really would be in an artistic block.

Talking to Seokmin always did the trick.

 “You said he was talking about your date, right?” Seokmin asks. “By the way, you still haven’t told me how it went.”

Caught, Soonyoung shifts his eyes away. “It was great! We had a lot of fun. Somin said she’s never sneaked around with a trainee before and that it was twice as exciting because of that. We had tteokbokki from that place you like near the station.”

“That does sound fun,” says Seokmin. Soonyoung stares at the ceiling instead of his face. “It’s too bad that you won’t be meeting her again.”

“Ah, well, it’s better this way,” Soonyoung bluffs. His hands are sticky with sweat. “I don’t want to get attached and make trouble for the group once we debut.”

Seokmin’s grip on his calves tightens like a steel band. Soonyoung looks at him, startled.

“I don’t get why you’re doing it in the first place, hyung,” he says, all in a rush. He’s bad at keeping his thoughts inside his head, their Seokmin. “Why are you going through all this? None of the rest of us are dating or whatever and we’re all doing fine.”

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung says. It surprises him because he hadn’t meant to say it, and he goes wide-eyed. Seokmin looks just as surprised. He covers it up with, “Guess that’s what Jeonghan-hyung wants me to figure out.”

Seokmin’s unhappy-tired eyes soften and begin to crinkle. It’s always so amazing when he does that; Soonyoung never tries to resist the temptation to reach out and trace the lines that fan around his eyes, and today’s no exception.

“Ah, don’t worry about that so much,” Seokmin says. He begins smiling in earnest when he pinches Soonyoung’s cheeks, making Soonyoung smile back without thinking. All the ugly tension rolls away and they’re left beaming at each other like always. _Happy virus,_ Soonyoung thinks. _Sunshine boy._  “All the stuff Hannie-hyung says gives me that feeling like I have a word in the tip of my tongue. I don’t get it when I’m thinking about it, but after I’ve given up and moved on it’ll come to me when I’m eating ramen or something.”

Soonyoung eyes him in suspicion. “Did you mention ramen because that’s what you want to eat?”

Since Mingyu started his _the sun is full of melanin so I’m never going outdoors_ thing, Seokmin had naturally become the darkest trainee at the agency. It makes his skin doubly lovely when he blushes. It’s one of Soonyoung’s favorite looks.

“Yah,” he says, helpless with affection. “We’re sticking to this diet, you hear? We’re both on two warnings. After we debut, hyung will buy you all the ramen you can eat.”

 “If we get cup ramen and get Mingyu to fix it up for us we can buy more,” Seokmin muses, and this time when Soonyoung comes up he boops him on the nose.

“Debut first, ramen later,” he tells him in his best authoritative tone, which he’ll need practice on if he’s going to be any kind of leader.

He bites his lip. The idea of him, as a leader, sounds ridiculous. The CEO will change his mind in no time.

He meets Seokmin’s eyes with as much conviction as he can muster, and his dongsaeng – the kindest person he knows—smiles, and says, “Okay then. But I’m holding you to it.”

 

It finally comes to him when he’s out shopping with Jihoon.

For all that they get on like crayfish and crabs, Seokmin never comes out with Soonyoung on trips like this. Their habits and inclinations are too different: Soonyoung is conditioned to be frugal and nitpicky with his spending, whereas Seokmin (and Vernon; the whole group is unnerved by how similar the same-birthday duo are) bounds from store to store, scooping up every little thing that catches his eye. In any other person it’d be enough reason for Soonyoung to despise him, but with Seokmin the point is moot.

So: he goes with Jihoon, as particular and thrifty and as pressed for time as Soonyoung is himself. It’s the accompanying comfortable silence that gives Soonyoung his revelation.

“I think I’m in love with Seoku,” he blurts.

His brain glitches a little, expecting meteors to crash through the atmosphere and demolish the world. What happens instead is a lot more unremarkable: Jihoon, his first friend in Seoul, rolls his eyes at him and pulls him out of the way of a young couple pushing a baby pram.

“And?” he says.

“ _And?”_ Soonyoung splutters. “What fresh hell is this, where I realize I’m in love and my best friend’s only response is _and?”_

“Always so dramatic,” Jihoon sighs. He shoots a needling little smirk at Soonyoung through the tail of his eye. “And I thought _Seoku_ was your best friend.”

“No-jam Jihoon is making fun of me,” Soonyoung drones, monotone. “That’s what the world has come to. Lee Jihoon cracked the first joke of his life and it’s in my expense. I might as well go and die now.”

“Out of curiosity, do you think it’d kill you _not_ to overreact to every little thing?” Jihoon says. When Soonyoung shakes his head, he sighs. “Thought so. Now tell me why you’re so surprised, I thought this was old news.”

“Is it?” Soonyoung says, stricken. “Does that mean everyone knows except me?” Ice washes all over him. “Does _Seokmin_ know?”

“Yes, and yes, and no,” says Jihoon. “Congratulations, you went and fell for the only human being more oblivious than you are.”

“Don’t call him stupid,” Soonyoung says automatically. His mind is whirling. “Man, I wish Jeonghan just told me flat-out. I would have started dating Somin a long time ago.”

“Yeah, you should…wait. Somin?” Jihoon’s eyes bug out when Soonyoung nods. “Soonyoung, what the _fuck_?”

“She’s this girl I went out with last week,” Soonyoung tells him. “Ah, it’s all making sense now. She said she was still interested in me even though I couldn’t commit to her. It struck me as weird back then, but she must have meant me being in love with someone else, not the whole trainee thing. God, I’m an idiot.”

“Can’t argue with you there,” Jihoon agrees faintly. “So, what? You’re going to date this girl…to make Seokmin jealous?”

Soonyoung stills.

“Jihoon-ah, do you really think I’d put Seokmin through that?” Just the thought of it makes him feel sick. “Of course he won’t be jealous. I just need to,” _run away,_ “move on from all this. If I see someone else in the same way I see him, I’ll naturally start to like them, right? So all I have to do is stop all this dating around and get serious. That’s probably why I’m still stuck on the choreo! I need to get inspired by _one_ person. I can get it sorted, easy-peasy.”

“Take a deep breath, Soonyoung-ah,” and Soonyoung does, swallowing down air like a fish returned to the water. Jihoon mutters a few curses under his breath. Despite his complaints of _no idea how Jeonghan handles all this foolishness,_ his hand is steady and comforting as it rubs up and down Soonyoung’s back. “Why can’t you just confess and see how it goes?”

Soonyoung looks up at him, incredulous. “Would _you_ tell them if you liked someone in the group, Jihoon-ah?”

Jihoon grimaces. He follows it up with, “It would depend on who it was,” but Soonyoung knows he’s won. Wild horses couldn’t drag a confession out of Jihoon’s mess of pride and self-doubt. It’s just another way the two of them are alike.

 

He should have seen this coming, but maybe he really is an idiot. Seungcheol had talked to him about it once, right when Seokmin had arrived and settled into their midst.

“I’m glad you and Seokmin warmed to each other so quickly,” Seungcheol had said over his weird protein shake. “I was worried.”

Soonyoung had looked at him in confusion. “About what?”

Seungcheol grins, apparently finding this hilarious. “Well, you’re both very unique and high-tension personalities so there’s a lot that could go wrong. You know what they say about chemistry, you either have it or you don’t.”

Soonyoung had laughed back then, because Lee Seokmin was just a baby who got excited about everything and sang entire ballads in the shower, overall impossible to dislike. Soonyoung knew that his own mood had improved a lot when he’d showed up; Soonyoung was the type of person who matched his energy level to the people around him, and with Seokmin there, being bright and energetic just came to him as easy as pie. It was impossible that, hidden behind Soonyoung’s affection for his awkward and hilarious dongsaeng, there was the kind of life-changing attraction Seungcheol was talking about.

And yet, here he is now, fighting tears because without him noticing, without him even having the smallest hint, he’d stopped seeing Seokmin as just a dongsaeng. When did Seokmin’s stupid eyebrow crinkle when he sings become so endearing to him? When did that idiot face tone itself into something so mature and manly? It feels like Soonyoung’s seeing things in _himself_ in a new light, things he should have noticed long ago. If only he weren’t an idiot.

He hears footsteps down the corridor and without thinking, leaps into his bed.

His stomach curls at the thought of what he has to do, but he hardly has a choice, does he? If he keeps up this…this _pining,_ he’ll only drag the team down. He had to stop being so absorbed in Seokmin somehow and put an end to this.

Then the door creaks open, and out of all their other roommates it could be, it’s Seokmin’s voice that whispers, “Soonyoungie? Are you asleep?”

Soonyoung stays still and tries to breathe naturally. He can hear Seokmin flick the light off and tiptoe around the mess in their room, tripping on wayward debris, cursing softly not to wake Soonyoung. Like an outsider, Soonyoung observes his own reaction to Seokmin’s kindness: warmth in his chest and a smile on his lips. He’s fucked.

He schools his expression into blankness when Seokmin slips under the covers and snuggles close to Soonyoung. He must have showered because his hair is damp, and when he leans close to ghost his lips across Soonyoung’s forehead he smells really nice and clean.

Soonyoung can’t help it. His eyes pop open, and Seokmin freezes.

“Ah, Soonie, did I wake you?”

Soonyoung shakes his head. “Was awake.”

Seokmin hums. He doesn’t question it. “Okay then.”

He tangles their legs together and throws an arm over Soonyoung to get comfortable, and it makes Soonyoung start smiling again. This is familiar. This is what they’ve been doing since they started trying to out-stubborn each other over who got the bottom bunk and discovered they both slept better with someone next to them. They’ve always complemented each other well, Soonyoung being a protective hyung to his soft-hearted sensitive dongsaeng.

When did that lose its innocence? When did Soonyoung begin admiring the muscle tone of Seokmin’s arms? How could he have thought he only saw Seokmin as a cute dongsaeng in the first place?

“Soonyoungie…” Seokmin says hesitantly.

Soonyoung makes a noise to indicate that he’s awake.

“You must have liked Somin-ah a lot, right?”

He rushes on when Soonyoung stills: “I’ve never seen you this down before, with any of your other dates. She must be special, huh?”

Soonyoung’s hands curl tight in the covers. “Maybe you’re right. In any case, I’m going to ask her out again.”

He doesn’t know what he expected from that stupidly-timed confession, but it’s definitely not Seokmin’s big sigh of relief as he wraps his arms around Soonyoung, grinning from ear to ear. He holds him in confusion, and feels Seokmin smile into the crook of his neck.

“Thank god,” Seokmin says. “I thought you’d be dumb about this. It’s going to work out, you know. Soon you’ll be bouncing around like usual and everyone will stop being so worried about you.”

Soonyoung’s lips twist into a wry smile without him being able to help himself. “Everyone’s worried, then? Including you?”

“Of course including me,” Seokmin says it so fiercely Soonyoung can feel his grin slide off his face. “But don’t worry, I’ll be taking care of it. I asked Manager-hyung and dance teacher and Seungcheollie-hyung and they all gave me permission.”

“For?”

A big blinding smile stretches across Seokmin’s face. Soonyoung is so _weak_ for Lee Seokmin’s smiles.

“I’ve got the perfect solution to give you courage to ask her out for real, and to cheer you up, Soonyoungie,” Seokmin says, all hopeful enthusiasm. “Let’s go on a date tomorrow.”

 

 

“I did give him permission,” says Seungcheol, taking a big gulp of his gross protein shake. “You need a break, Soonyoung-ah.”

Soonyoung makes outraged faces at him. “I thought I was supposed to be a pillar of support to this group? Pillars don’t take days off. Plus,” he says, struck with inspiration, “I don’t think the CEO will appreciate me slacking.”

Seungcheol waves a dismissive hand. “Already sorted. Got any more flimsy excuses up your sleeve?”

Soonyoung’s expression must speak for him because Seungcheol’s teasing smile drops, eyes softening. “Yah, Soonyoungie. If you hate it so much you should have told Seokmin-ah direct. You know he’s not the type to hold grudges.”

Soonyoung stares at him very hard till he caves.

“Yeah, fine, I have trouble saying no to my dongsaengs too,” Seungcheol admits, a little pink-cheeked. “But I don’t see why you’re trying to back out of spending the day with Min-ah. He talked to me about his plans and they all sounded very relaxing. Plus, don’t you call him your vitamin? Spending time with him will do you good.”

“Finishing up on this choreo is more important than messing around,” Soonyoung points out. “Evaluations are in a week, hyung.”

Seungcheol gives him a considering look. Soonyoung breathes in steadily through his nose and refuses to bend under the weight of it.

“Being leader of the performance team shouldn’t come at the expense of you burning yourself out even before we debut,” Seungcheol says, in his stern deep voice. “Learn to handle the pressure, Soonyoungie. It’s part of the job description.”

Then he smiles, lopsided, sweet: “The day I get you and Jihoon-ah to understand that is when I can tell myself _I’ve_ done a good job.”

Soonyoung sighs. He’s beginning to regret sneaking out of bed unholy early to talk to his leader alone when clearly, Seungcheol has already picked a side. Hysteria claws at his throat at the thought of going on a date with Seokmin. No matter what he actually meant by it, _Soonyoung_ would think of it as a date, and wasn’t that what was wrong in the first place?

“Hyung,” he says quietly, “Please—”

“Sorry, Soonyoung-ah,” Seungcheol says, looking like he means it. “You need this in more ways than one. Jihoonie spoke to me last night.”

It makes sense then.

“That treacherous oompa loompa,” Soonyoung intones, unsurprised. Jihoon, like Jeonghan and Joshua and apparently every hyung who ever crossed paths with him, had a soft spot the size of a truck for Seokmin. “It’s unfair how all of you automatically took his side.”

Seungcheol stares at him for a beat.

“We’re all on your side, Soonyoung-ah,” he says gently. “I hope you’ll see that today.”

 

Soonyoung isn’t really a morning person. People are taken aback when he tells them, because Soonyoung is energetic and fully charged all the time, ready for anything. But in reality that’s all energy burrowed from Seokmin, who walks out of bed ready to fight a bear. Seokmin has the weird quality of snapping straight into lucid awareness as soon as he opens his eyes, and sometimes he even continues the thread of thought he was having when he fell asleep. Soonyoung’s the one that has trouble opening his eyes in the first place.

Today is no different. After their talk, Seungcheol had offered to exercise with him till the rest of the members woke up but Soonyoung had declined out of pettiness. For the lack of anything to do he’d gone back to his rooms and crawled right back into the space against the curve of Seokmin’s spine, kissed the back of his neck, and fallen right back to sleep.

“Oh my,” says Seokmin’s smiley voice as Soonyoung’s lashes struggle to open. His side of the bed shifts. “The prince is awakening. Sound the bells!”

“Time is it,” Soonyoung croaks.

“Little past ten, my prince.”

Soonyoung’s eyes snap open in alarm. “Why didn’t you wake me up, you bullfrog?”

Seokmin smiles, messy-haired and sweet. “This is our day, or did you forget, Soonyoungie? I figured the best start to a great day is sleeping in a little.”

Soonyoung suddenly becomes aware of all the places they’re touching, all the tangled limbs and brushing hands. This is dangerous. This is dangerous because Seokmin looks so cute, and soft, and devastatingly handsome and every cell in Soonyoung’s hazy brain just wants to kiss him. Soonyoung doesn’t want to lose him like this.

He launches out of bed like a rocket, leaving a blinking confused Seokmin sitting alone.

“Gotta go pee,” he mutters as an explanation and beats it.

As he’d been expecting, there’s no one in the dorm. With debut nearing, even the members who were steady and consistent with their training have picked up the pace and intensity, to the point that their trainers can’t keep up with them. Soonyoung admits that he’s the worst one, probably: he dances all through their breaks and spends mealtimes with a notebook in his hand working out formations, shows up to consult Bumzu-hyung after even workaholic Jihoon has stumbled to bed. But he’s not about to burn out, like Seungcheol thinks. He’s just doing his best.

He takes his time brushing his teeth and takes the longest shower of his trainee life before he admits to himself that he’s stalling. He’s not used to long showers anyway—he doesn’t know where Joshua gets the patience for them.

“Soonyoungie,” Seokmin says once he’s out, looking up from his phone. “What do you think, should we eat first?”

He’s dressed in a baby blue sweater that used to belong to Soonyoung, overlarge and the sleeves so long that only the tips of his pretty fingers are on display. His ring catches the light as he scrolls through his phone. The jeans he’s wearing are nothing special, but the way he’s sitting gives definition to the lines of his long legs and his solid thighs. The overall effect is a boyfriend look straight out of a magazine.

Soonyoung puts his hand over his racing heart and breathes out, carefully.

“You look nice, Seoku,” he says, as casual as he can manage.

Seokmin lights up before his smile twists into something wry. “Jeonghannie-hyung didn’t want me to wear what I picked out, and he made me wear this instead.”

That could mean a lot of things, but Soonyoung chooses to focus on hyping up Seokmin. “You look good in anything,” he says truthfully. “Even when you showed up wearing those goofy leopard print pants, everyone talked about how handsome you were.”

“Ah, hyung,” Seokmin says shyly.

Soonyoung barely catches himself before he tackles him in a hug; Seokmin’s unconscious aegyo is _lethal._

He goes for variety instead: “Aigoo grandpa, you’re as handsome as the day I first saw you fishing in that lake.” He adds in his normal voice, “Let me get changed, and let’s head out, okay?”

Seokmin’s answering smile is bright and lovely. It’s so easy to keep him happy that Soonyoung sometimes gets caught up in it, wanting to do nothing else.

Soonyoung shakes his head. _Lethal._

“Yah,” says Soonyoung, staring at the rollerblades in his hand. “Wasn’t this date was supposed to be relaxing?”

He’s joking, mostly. Seokmin’s first choice for brunch had been chicken, and once they were sufficiently full (Soonyoung had to jog in place a couple times before he could breathe easy) Seokmin had suggested moving locations. Somehow managing not to think too much about the dance practice reminder alerts on his phone, Soonyoung had followed along until they found the place Seokmin was looking for.

Seokmin, for his part, looks perfectly relaxed, watching the families trailing kids rolling by. In one hand he’s got his own pair of blades, and he’s holding hands with Soonyoung peacefully.

His diet has been doing amazing things to his cheekbones, Soonyoung notes.

“Wasn’t breakfast relaxing?” Seokmin asks, swinging their joined hands a little and wiggling his eyebrows with meaning. “Grandma, I can’t believe you’ve got sick of me after all these long years.”

Soonyoung refuses to rise to the bait (it takes effort—without the other members around to stop them, they could live in their grandparent skit for _days)_ and says, pointedly, “I’m not terminally ill, you know.”

Seokmin’s mouth twitches like it does every time he’s about to lie terribly. “I don’t know what you mean.”

 “Is this payback for that time you caught a cold?” Soonyoung says. “Because I’m sorry I hovered so much.”

“It’s isn’t,” Seokmin protests. “You don’t even have a cold.”

“Then why are you treating me like this?” He tries his best to sound Jeonghan-like: coaxing, kind.  Seokmin just _talked_ to Jeonghan. He knows he’s failed when Seokmin stays silent, just clasping his rollerblades tighter. “You don’t need to go out of the way to help me relax, just ‘cause Coups-hyung asked you to.”

“This isn’t about that, Soonyoung,” Seokmin says, finally. He looks up, and there’s a shimmer in his eyes. He’s so earnest it _hurts,_ spidering down to all the hidden corners of Soonyoung’s heart that Seokmin owns. “You’re not telling us, but you’re actually really upset about something, right? You keep going out so much but it’s only making you sadder. And Cheol-hyung isn’t making me do anything. You’re _my_ best friend and _I_ wanted to make you feel better.”

When Soonyoung grasps this, he wants to laugh.

But he knows a thing or two about jokes, and this is a bad one.

“Let’s go then,” he mutters, busying himself with the laces on his rollerblades to hide his stinging eyes. “Wouldn’t want to waste time on our date.”

 

Soonyoung had always preferred to move, not think. When he was younger he was always the kid falling out of trees and showing up with his head full of cobwebs, and later in life he channeled it into taekwondo and dancing with great success. There was an immediacy and straightforwardness in performance team that he knew well.

It’s also what keeps him, for most part, from being a good date: he spaces out during movies, _hates_ art galleries, and he can’t watch a sunset to save his life. The girls he dates (because he dates girls, and only girls, and had been happy that way until the day Lee Seokmin first smiled at him) always offer to do something else instead, but Soonyoung’s too much of an idiot to say yes.

So, for what it’s worth, his date with Seokmin has been the best one he’s been on so far.

“Now I’m tired,” he mock-complains as they stumble out of the rink, exhausted and giggly. His coat is draped over Seokmin who is draped over him, because out of the two of them he’s definitely worse off, his hair ruffled and ankle twisted. “And _you’re_ injured. I ought to drop you off at a hospital.”

“Shut up, I’m fine,” Seokmin says immediately, and wriggles free. “That was only half as bad as dance practice. How’d you get the hang of it so fast, anyway. I thought I would die.”

Soonyoung laughs at him. “It’s in my blood, you know,” he says in his princeliest tone, eyebrows wiggling suggestively at his dongsaeng. “It’s like the spirit of skating comes over me when I put the skates on. It sings to me and says, _Hoshi—”_

“Fine, I get it, stop,” Seokmin jabs him with an elbow. He’s smiling so hard his cheeks look like they might burst. “Okay. We’ll feel better in a bit.”

“We’re not going to the dorms?”

Seokmin bites his lip. “Do you want to, hyung? It’s still not that dark out yet, so I thought we could get ice cream and eat it in front of Han River before we went home. But we can go now,” he adds quickly, eyes roving all over Soonyoung’s expression. “I only meant, if you wanted we could go.”

The pull of saying no is unbelievably strong. Soonyoung is in deep and dangerous waters, and he gets a little more lost every time Seokmin smiles. He imagines ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest and going home right now, to the practice studio and dancing the night away to the same stale old choreos, not thinking about how badly he wants Seokmin. He could –should—turn his back now.

He reaches up to cup Seokmin’s face instead, and marvels, quietly, at the way Seokmin’s whole face blooms with happiness with just that simple touch.

“Why not,” he says.

 

 

Soonyoung takes a picture of Seokmin’s profile against the sunset. “Pretty dongsaeng,” he coos.

They found a bench with relative ease, overlooking the river and a good distance from where the kids usually play. The powder-blue palette of the sky matches Seokmin’s stolen sweater, the taste of chocolate in his mouth and Soonyoung’s own rosy feelings. Without any trouble, Soonyoung identifies that this is what it’s like to be wholeheartedly in love.

Rustling around in the bag of snacks from the convenience store, Seokmin rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t count if you have _one_ good photo when there’s another million of me looking like a dork,” he says. He bites down on his Melona bar with a crunching noise that makes Soonyoung wince, and adds, “You didn’t have to take pictures of _all_ the uncool faces I made today.”

He’s smile-pouting, which is the single most adorable thing Soonyoung has ever seen.

He nudge-nudge-nudges Seokmin and makes a face and Seokmin giggles and makes a face back. They go on like that, back-and-forth, adding commentary and random challenges like _tell me, Hoshi-ssi, are you enjoying that chocopie? Please express the taste with a dance,_ and laughing till there’s tears in their eyes.  

Before Soonyoung knows it, sun has dipped completely and the streetlights are flickering on with a nostalgic glow, and they’re surrounded by wrappers. The spun-candy happiness in Soonyoung’s stomach is shrinking and hardening, still sweet but heavier. Dusk means that it’s time to think of things like protecting himself and protecting their friendship and not fucking things up for the group.

He chokes on all the words he has to say.

A tiny noise from his side catches his attention.

“It was a good date, wasn’t it, hyung?” Seokmin says, playing with the ice cream wrapper in his hands. His head is bowed so Soonyoung can’t catch his expression. “It’s probably good practice for when, you know. When—when you ask her out.”

His voice cracks.

Soonyoung, startled, crowds into him, ignoring the flailing hand warding him off. “Is it your ankle? Seoku I _told_ you we should have that looked at, icing it isn’t enough—” He manages to catch Seokmin’s wrists and peer at his face, stunned when that makes Seokmin’s entire frame shudder. “Seoku,” he murmurs, voice catching. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” and Soonyoung should laugh at how Seokmin’s such a shitty liar, but his stomach’s in tangles and it’s getting harder and harder to think, fear and panic rushing in. 

Emotions often blindside Soonyoung, but not as hard as they do Seokmin who takes everything so hard and has his heart so open. As he watches Seokmin draw in a breath and start crying in earnest, he realizes that all he’s thinking about is how to get him to smile again.

“It’s not nothing,” Soonyoung says, stroking his hair. “Did I do something?”

Seokmin’s shoulders spasm. “No of course not, Soonyoung, this’ll pass, I’m just being weird. Just ignore me.”

“You’re not being weird,” Soonyoung says gently. “This _is_ about me, isn’t it? Me asking Somin-ah out?” He pushes on, blind and scared: “Are you sad because you think that's why I’m not doing well in performance team?”

This makes Seokmin’s head snap up immediately, his eyes still leaking and mouth wobbling in and out of shape, the tip of his nose a perfect cherry red. “Hyung, _what?_ Of course not. You’re doing a great job. Who told you that?”

“Because that’s what I think, you know,” Soonyoung confides, made reckless by Seokmin’s breathless attention. His lips are parted in an incredulous _o_. “I haven’t had any new ideas for choreo for a long time now. Haven't even felt like dancing. Not much use of a performance team leader if he doesn't even _like_ performing.”

Seokmin gasps. His mouth forms shapes, but not words; not yet. Soonyoung has to get it all out before he loses courage.

“And worst of all--” he looks at Seokmin’s tearful face, swallows, and stops. _In for a penny._ “Worst of all, I’m miserable in love with you.”

Seokmin’s eyes go very round.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Soonyoung says, shame curdling hot and thick in his gut. He lets go of Seokmin’s wrists like he’s been burned. Then he moves to grab his coat from around Seokmin’s shoulders, reconsiders and tucks his hands back in his pockets. His eyes sting like crazy. “I guess I’ll see you at the dorm.”

Before he can stand up, Seokmin blurts, in a strangled voice, “Hyung, please wait.”

Soonyoung has no energy to resist. Like a puppet with its strings cut, he falls back on to the bench.

“Soonie-hyung,” Seokmin says softly. “Can you please look at me?”

Gathering every last ounce of strength, Soonyoung complies. He’s unprepared for the way Seokmin squishes his cheeks when he does. “10:10,” he tells a stunned Soonyoung. “Soonyoungie, you’re so cute sometimes I can’t stand it.”

“Speak for yourself,” Soonyoung mumbles, dazed for most part. “Seoku, what—”

“Listen, you’re the best dancer, choreographer and genius we have,” Seokmin tells him. “I can’t take my eyes off you when you’re dancing, you know? It’s like _pam! Pam! Pam!_ and everyone’s going _wah, I wish I was as talented as Soonyoung._ Stop making that face, it’s true,” he says, squishing harder. “When I joined as a trainee, you were _it._ You’re still _it._ You just can’t see it for yourself.”

“Yah,” Soonyoung mumbles, smiling because Seokmin’s smiling at him (it’s that simple). “Now you’re just making things up.”

“Is that a challenge, hm?” Seokmin says, grinning broader, and it’s annoying because it’s making Soonyoung’s mood pick up better than magic. “Do you want me to list all the reasons I think you’re awesome, Soonyoungie? Because I can, you know. No one pays attention to these things more than I do.”

And suddenly Soonyoung _gets it._ What Seokmin’s saying. What Jeonghan, Jihoon and Seungcheol have been trying to say. What he might have seen for himself, if he’d been a little brave.

“I don’t know, Seoku,” Soonyoung says, his heart hammering. “It sounds a lot like you’re confessing to me.”

Seokmin gives him the most blinding smile yet. “Looks like you’re not that dumb after all, Kwon Soonyoung,” he says, before he kisses him.

 

 

A lot of things happen then, in quick succession.

First: Seokmin laugh-sobs into the kiss, like he’s been afraid as well, and that makes Soonyoung smile and press closer, tangle his fingers in the mess of Seokmin’s soft hair and lick into his mouth.

Second: someone’s phone starts ringing, which they both ignore, still kissing, Seokmin’s lips soft and demanding against his.

Then: a familiar voice goes, “Oh god. Get a room,” just as another breaks out in giggles.

Soonyoung and Seokmin spring apart to face Jeonghan and Chan, looking respectively gleeful and nauseated. Soonyoung raises his eyebrows at them while Seokmin blushes into non-existence.

“What? We’re just taking a scenic walk,” Jeonghan says, indicating the grey skies and colorless river. “People-watching, you know,” he adds, mouth twitching.

“There’s literally no one here but us,” Soonyoung points out.

“You need to learn not to sweat the details, Hoshi-yah.”

“Can we go now,” Chan says, fidgeting. “You said it’d only take ten minutes, hyung.”

“We’ll come with you,” Soonyoung proposes. He looks at Seokmin and catches him making faces at Jeonghan, and laughs. “Seoku, need anything from the convenience store before we go?”

“Just you, Soonyoungie,” Seokmin says, and taps one of his pretty fingers against Soonyoung’s heart. His cheesiness makes his eyes crinkle almost immediately, and he hits Soonyoung on the shoulder, hard.

Soonyoung walks home, massaging his shoulder. His lips are buzzing, he’s holding hands, and Seokmin’s singing a song about being in love.

He feels like dancing. 

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me i'm a shouty dk stan: @fightme_dk
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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